Promice Rings and Razorblades

       I'm not an "emo", I'm a decent human being who just so happens to have a hard time releasing my emotions in a healthy way. I'm very introverted... Anyway I can't stop playing with my promise ring readers of mine. He promised forever does he still mean it?...
Dear Prince Charming,
       I'm cutting myself again. I'm sorry. I know I promised you that I would stop, and I did stop for months on top of months now, but with all the bullshit I've been feeling I needed some sort of release. It started again after I looked up the abortion stuff on the Internet on that stupid four day weekend, that Monday night actually. So Mr. Charming since you've been wondering what's wrong  you can add that to the list along with the fact that I have no idea where I'm going to be living in the next month, I have no way to move out of my abusive household, I think you're going to break up with me, I can't sleep or eat and when I do sleep I have abortion nightmares. So there you go there's other things too of course, there always is, but does it make a little more sense now? Maybe, maybe not. Prince Charming I love you, I love you forever and always through the good and BAD. Like right now for instance... Actually no not like right now, like before I got my period, everything should be fine now, we should be fine, but I know that's not how life goes.
       I keep twirling my promise ring, I play with it whenever I am upset and alone, I can't believe you lost yours. I mean it's whatever but to me the promise is written in stone, I want to marry you, but maybe you have different plans now. I just need to know. Frankly if you're planning on breaking up with me at any point then there's really no point in us going out for another second because what's the point of leading me on? Oh I caved today, I needed to hear you say I love you, so I said it twice. I feel stupid. Please just say it first for once, I'm begging. Oh great, now I'm crying.
       Did I mention that my mom's been looking at prom dresses? Yep. It just makes me want to tear off my skin. Will we make it to prom? You already asked but I guess you could always take it back. I wont go if you break up with me, I don't even think I'll be around that long if you break up with me soon, I'm nothing without you, and I don't want to be alive if I'm nothing. Isn't that sad? Aren't I pathetic? I'm sorry Prince Charming, I'm just in a bad mood, I shouldn't say things like that, but I feel like you wouldn't even care if you heard me say it aloud.
   Blahhh I'm done with this pitty party, I really am. I want to make things better! I want to kiss you and make you want me. You made me believe in god once, because an angel like you has to come from somewhere divine so now I'll pray for god to make this all ok.           
      
                                                                                                                    Forever and Always,
                                                                                                                       Princess Buttercup