Confession time... I told everyone I had my period last month, and in truth I did believe I started it. The night before the show I bled a dime sized amount. I told Prince Charming to calm his nerves, but I didn't bleed again after that. I need to find out if I'm pregnant...
Dear Prince Charming,
I'm scared. I don't want to be pregnant. It would be that final destroying blow. But I guess I've been waiting for you to leave me so that I could find out if I was. I didn't want to know and tell you so that we could set up an abortion and then have you break up with me. At least this way you never have to know about it. I cant have an abortion by myself, I'd kill myself... it that's not the road I'm heading in already. So if I am I have no idea what I'll do. I'm so very scared. I don't want to have this, I don't want to be one of those girls who has a baby at 18 and has no one. I don't want to have a baby at 18 period! But if I am then I'll do my best to protect my little miracle all by myself.
I miss you Prince Charming. I returned almost everything yesterday and I want it all back. I hope you don't throw away all the things I've given you over our time together. You could give them back to me. I'd be out of your life forever. I still have things of yours though. The skelly animal I hug at night and the notes. I love those notes. And the song... the pictures all in digital form... I love you. I miss you. I hate myself.
Forever Yours,
Princess Buttercup
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